Friday, September 24, 2010

A New Chapter

I'm gonna try and explain this the best that I can, but it's rather confusing even to me.
So yeah, here goes...

Yesterday, because of an argument I had with mom, and I'll be honest here, without going into detail, that it was due to a great deal of pride on my end. But it ended up that she said that I couldn't go to school for the day. So I in my anger ran away. I ran to the beach ¾ of a mile away, through the pouring rain. Once there I sat in the water and cried out to God, telling Him that I wasn't gonna move until He reveled truth to me. I had 3 hours after all.

It didn't take 3 hours, thank goodness, because I probably would have caught pneumonia if it had. But God reveled His truth to me there, as He can only when we have reached the end of ourselves. Mom and my argument had all been part of His plan, because He knew if I wasn't in school I would have time for Him, and He knew I would seek to be alone when I was hurt, and He knew that when I was alone and at the end of my own strength I'd turn to Him.

I can't say that the truth is pretty, because it usually isn't, but the truth will set you free, and when you seek freedom you'll accept the truth for what it is because you aren't looking for something nice. The truth God reveled hurt. And His truth was this: I had given up the 'Best' things for the 'good' things.
Since starting school I had been skipping my time with God more and more often, and I had become more irritated with my siblings because the high school students had taken all the patience I'd had for the day. This was not acceptable and something had to change. Yesterday, I quit school.

I told God that I wanted to do His will, and that I had thought that His will for me had been to go to the school, and I think it was at the time. But God works on a different time schedule as we do and when He says go we must be willing to go, in the same way when He says stay we must be willing to stay, even if it means giving up the dreams we had for ourselves. That's what God asked me. He asked if I would give up my hopes of continuing school to obey Him, if I cared more for the things of God then the things of men. I said yes. It wasn't easy, and I knew I was gonna have to try and explain why I wasn't going back to quite a few people, and some of then wouldn't understand. But I would rather look the fool and be obedient, then to seem 'smart' in the eyes of men and disobey the command of my Lord.

So, in closing, I made it back home a soaked and humbled mess. Apologized to Mom, and informed her of my decision. We then went to the school, where I gathered my things, thanked my teachers, and informed the councilor we had been working with that it wasn't working out. Thank God for His grace, when we are obedient He will clear the way ahead of us! Everything went very smoothly, and everyone seemed to understand.

So, that life chapter has come to an end. But another is just beginning, and I look forward to the other 'Great' things God has planned for me!

Pressing on!


Sunday, September 19, 2010

The Beginning...

I was suppose to graduate this spring. 'Suppose to' here meaning that this is what you typically do when you are 18, have been in doing school for 12 years of your life, have people asking you what you are going to do now, and you have been calling yourself a senior for the last year.

But it was not to be. For God had other plans. So instead of graduating like all the rest of the normal people out there, I decided to do another year of high school. 
Now, I have been home educated my entire life and for the last two years of school I was a part of PSEO (free online college for high school students), so the fact that I was going from college classes to high school level classes was gonna be a little different. But not only was I going from college level to HS level, I decided to GO to high school!!! So yeah.... BIG CHANGES! But why? Why not graduate? Why go to school?
    There were things I wanted to learn that this school was teaching, and if you learn them in high school they are free, if you learn them in college they cost money.
    There are a lot of lost people in a high school.
    There are hurting people, kids coming from broken homes, girls who feel unloved, guys who have no fathers, and the list goes on and on. Everyone has a problem, everyone has pain, and there is only one answer. Without the answer to these issues, teens drift from one thing to the next trying to find joy and fulfillment from (drugs, boy/girlfriends, drinking, etc) things that where never meant to, and never will be the answer.

So in closing: I am an ambassador for Christ, going to the mission field to which He has currently called me, and I'm on a mission to touch as many lives as I can while there. 
This blog to give you a glimpse of what God is doing and what He is teaching me as I embark on this new adventure. 

Pressing On,
Erin Marie