It's been a rather hard week. Of course there was all the normal things going on but my problems were of a different nature. I had hardly touched my Bible all week, which I felt pretty guilty about but I tried to 'remind' myself that I hadn't had time, God understands that right?
And every time I tried to pray it felt like talking to a wall, I figured that God must be upset and not listening because I hadn't been reading my Bible, but this didn't make sense either since that wouldn't really fit God's nature. It just didn't make sense. Until last night.
I found myself in the front row of a conference that I love going to every time it takes place nearby, except that this time I practically had to be dragged to it. I figured that I knew what the speaker would be talking about, I'd been to this conference 4 times – the first night was always the same, but it was still always good. But I was wrong. The speaker started by saying that he wanted to do this conference different then all the other ones before. And he did. He began the night by talking about addictions and idolatry. It was a straight shot, and hit me right in the heart.
I had been trying to tell myself that I didn't have time to read my bible, time to spend in God's presence, when the truth was that I did have the time but I had chosen to spend it on something else. Manga.
I don't think that reading manga is a sin, but it became one for me. It became an addiction and ultimately an idol that had taken the place of God in my life.
When I got back from work I would read it, it made me happy, it took me on an adventure, in to a romance, on to another planet, and ultimately away from my God.
So I now knew the reason for my problems, it was not God who had distanced himself but me.
And once you come to the place where you realize that - there is a choice.
Will you continue to do what you have been doing, or will you do whatever it takes to get back in fellowship with God?
So I had to ask myself, how bad do I want it? How bad do I want to be with God? How important is He to me? Did I want Him more then I wanted to read manga?
And when you phrase it that way you realize that you really strewed up by comparing the God of the universe to a comic book.
The Lord told me what He wanted me to do. What it would take to break the addiction and restore fellowship with Him – Not read any manga or watch any anime for an entire month.
And in all honesty I don't want to do it, but I will. Because I want to be able to say “God, I want you more then this.”
So today is day one of my month long fast from anime and manga. And I'd just like to challenge you that if you might have seen yourself in this – Take this challenge with me!
It'll be hard but it WILL be worth it!
And if you do it – Tell me! I'd love to hear from you and pray for you!